I Need You

For a long time I fought God, didn't want any part of what I thought was a cruel and mean God. I even got to the point of throwing my fist to the sky and screaming out loud ,"I HATE YOU!"
    You see my problem was, In my eyes, God had taken everything away from me. I was a good rodeo Bull Rider and in one millisecond God put fear in me and I had to walk away from it. I was working a job that I let make me into a mean person, a dishonest person. I was so far away from my wife that I wasn't even sure if I loved her any more.
     Suddenly in that one moment of rage against my God, He started to talk to me. This didn't strike me as odd. I have experienced this many times, but the questions effected me in a life changing way.
     You see I was crying because God took things away from me and I knew, deep down,  it was due to the choices I have made.

Voice: how do you raise your kids?
Me: The best way I know how.
Voice: Do you try to correct them?
Me: yes,
Voice: Does they listen?
Me: sometimes,
Voice: and if they don't listen?
Me: I punish them.
Voice: And if they still don't listen?
Me: I have to let him make the mistake and hope they learns from.... Oh God how could I be so blind?
Voice: It's ok, Now lets get you back where you should be.

     This song is a result of sitting down and being honest with God, Letting him know, letting me know, that I need Him.
    To break the song down it is saying that I (we) need God when we wake up in the morning. (verse 1)  We need him as we go through out our day to guide us. (verse 2) We need him at the end of the day to hold us in the alone tired time of the end of the day. (verse 3)

We are all equal in Christ,
Todd Marett

Rage

Trying hard to fight this rage  inside of me,
I know its you that sets me free.
This world is dim but i can see
The light you give that keeps reminding me.

Voice In My Head

Voice: What's your problem?
Me: I can't do this, it's too much.
Voice: What the heck are you talking about?
Me: This temptation, it's too strong for me!
Voice: You mean Lust?
Me: Yes, It's KILLING me! I'm not strong enough to fight this!
Voice: No you aren't.
Me: What! What are you setting me up to fail?
Voice: No.
Me: Then What's the deal?
Voice: It's not your fight.
Me: Everywhere I look,
Voice: It's not your fight.
Me: I am Tempted!
Voice: It's not your fight!
Me:  It's too much!
Voice: IT'S NOT YOUR FIGHT!!
Me: Huh?
Voice: It's not your fight!
Me: But I'm the one living this life.
Voice: It's not your fight.
Me: So I don't fight it, I just let it go?
Voice: Now you're getting the point.
Me: It's not that easy.
Voice: No, it's not.
Me: Why?
Voice: Because you won't let me help you.
Me: How can you help.
Voice: If I give you food, Do you eat?
Me: Heck yeah! By the way, a steak would be great right now!
Voice: Yeah funny, Not on your pay.
Me: yeah about that...
Voice: No! I put you there, there you stay till the right time.
Me: Dang it.
Voice: Do I give you drink and you drink it?
Me: Can I have a Co...
Voice: ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Me: Yes Sir.
Voice: Do I give you a Bible and you read it?
Me: YES SIR!
Voice: Every day?
Me: Yeah man!
Voice: EVERY DAY?
Me: Well most days, Yeah.
Voice: So if I give you food and drink every day,
Me: Coke and Steak would be nice...
Voice: You eat it and feed your body for strength, right?
Me: Yes Sir.
Voice: But if I give you my Word to Feed the strength of your soul, You don't eat it everyday?              That is why you are weak.
Me: so If I read The Bible, You will give me strength to fight my lust?
Voice: now you are catching on.
Me: Prove it.
Voice: Got a Bible?
Me: On my Phone.
Voice: Yeah, We will talk about that phone later.
Me: Dang it!
Voice: Read Ephesians 5:25-29
(after reading)
Me: WOW! So if I love my wife like you love me, it will get easy for me?
Voice: Now you are getting it.
Me: So If I love You, then my wife, I will have the Strength to fight this?
Voice: Bingo! We have a winner!!!!
Me: Thanks Man.
Voice: You're welcome.

Disapointment

I can't tell you how many times I have been disappointed or even worse, how many times I have disappointed others. The more I learn about Christ, the more I realize that people should not disappoint us. Not that they or we will make the right choices if we are in God, but If Christ is our first mark then whatever happens to us will be minuscule. I really think this is how Paul was able to handle his hard times, how Job was able to remain faithful, and... how Christ was able to face our beating and death.

heart for the Father,
Todd

p.s. please leave comments

Stay or Go

One day I was sitting in A church, really searching for where God wanted me and my family to be. I was praying and asking God if I should be here (leading Worship) or if I needed to go.
I have wanted to lead worship for a long time, but I am not sure if that is what God wants me to do. was I was in God's will or mine. I got my answer for that church but I am still searching for what God wants me to do with my music.
In the love of God, Todd

Why I write what I write.

The songs I write are my prayers to God. I started writing them down and the melody just comes to me. I sing them with the love of believing that one person, who feels the same will see that they are not alone. I felt so alone for a long time and i remember the feeling of relief I felt when I discovered that there were others that felt like me.
I now had prayers written down and tunes in my head, I had to find away to get them out. I bought a guitar for $100.00 and began to learn where ever I could. through several set backs and self doubt, I never let myself quit. Dyslexia and depression tried to keep reminding me that I was useless. Then I ran across a book written by Mark Hall of Casting Crowns, Life Songs. It changed my life and helped me to walk away from my fear. I have learned to play guitar, taught myself basic music theory, and in the process realized I could play the piano!
I still study and learn every day. As I grow stronger as a musician, I grow closer to God.

Love for the Father,
Todd

p.s. please leave a comment, thanks!